my baby

I study his face all the time. I mostly see F’s features and smile, although sometimes a quirky little grin from J pops up. His default mood seems to be the same as what we saw in F: warm, open, interested, amused. He watches with raised eyebrows and a grin, tries out [...]

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musing

I sent F another short note yesterday. It’s a pretty easy habit I’m falling into; I write a short little update toward the end of the week, sometimes skipping a week, but it’s never more than two weeks between mail. And every 3-4 weeks, I mail both her and J a card with [...]

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It’s been a slightly blurry week

yet all is well.
Rockinrolla is feeling great. He was deeply annoyed that he couldn’t go outside and play on Wednesday, and we sent him back to school on Thursday. When I suggested that he might want to consider skipping the two hour basketball practice yesterday afternoon, you’d have thought I suggested he forgo [...]

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dropping the ball

The scene: Mama Jamz and Rainbow are in a downtown shop. A casual friend, with whom we are on very good, warm terms, is talking to MJ. Let’s listen in, shall we…?
Friend: (goo-gooing and generally admiring Rainbow) You know, I’m going to have to take back what I was saying just earlier today. I had [...]

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sweet little early morning daydream

Not sure if this counts as dream journaling – not sure what this qualifies as: a daydream that got legs and ran with it, in a really vivid way? This would be at about 3am this morning, after Rainbow finally settled down after his bottle, when I was drifting off but not technically asleep, [...]

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Mama Goat

Behind the Great Big Wooden Playground at the recreation center in our county seat, there is a little wooden bridge that leads to the walking trail.  In between the bridge and the walking trail, there are countless limestone boulders sunken into the ground.  Some are enormous, some are just your basic rocks, and many have super-cool waterworn [...]

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all over the place

But let’s have the best news first:
F’s social worker from Rainbow’s home state called and said that she had gotten a call from F, the first since the birth.  F is fine, and she said that she loves the pictures and updates, and that she’d like to communicate by email with us so that we can [...]

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treading carefully

I’m sending cards to F and J today. I don’t know how many I’ve sent in total: lots. I think I’m going to slowly stretch out the contact to about one card with pictures to each a month, with another note in between for F. It’s so hard to predict what would make them happiest. [...]

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irony at 4am

I’m totally snickering at myself, and also dreading how exhausted I will be tomorrow.
(Oh wait, I mean today.)
Why is it that when Rainbow wakes every four hours or so for a bottle, or at least a paci-reinsert and a mobile restart, I think that surely he’ll be sleeping through the night soon and won’t that [...]

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end game

This morning I will call T, our social worker, to schedule our last post placement visit. We may end up going to her office instead of her coming here, since a couple of her coworkers are on vacation and the office might need her there. Which is totally fine, of course, as long as it’s [...]

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