The shock collar seems to be quite the success with Dana.  Daddy J hooked her up and gave her a couple of sessions this morning.  We worked on eliminating her piercingly shrill bark when someone knocks on the door (seriously – it’s ear-splitting) and gave her the opportunity to chase the bus again.  She declined.  😉

In other news, I think I’m all done with grieving parent chat rooms.  I kind of haven’t been going at all of late, because I was annoyed that no one had responded in my email support group (spun off from frequent chatters) when I had informed them that the anniversary of Wardie’s accident, and then his birthday, were coming up.  Last night was the last straw – I checked in just to say hello, and the topic was what we had done to cope in the early months/first year.  I mentioned that I had meditated a lot, and the moderator said, Oh, that’s not good.  I was baffled, and thought she had misunderstood, and said that I had used guided meditation cd’s, and she acted like it was a dangerous addiction: as long as you know when to stop… 

It might sound silly that I got so irritated – doanchu be putting down my guided meditations beyotch!! –  but I did.  I dropped it in the chat room, but I just don’t need anyone putting down something that was, and is, a lifeline for me.  And the moderator, no less.  I mean, WTF?  Is there a rash of meditation addicts that doctors are having to treat?  I’m sorry to tell you this, sir, but your wife appears to self-medicating and healing with all natural mental and spiritual techniques, and we CAN’T HAVE THAT – get her to a therapist and on some meds STAT!


Anyway, I was kind of feeling all done anyway, so there you have it.  It was good while it lasted.

Adoption news: (tee hee – that’s fun to write now) I mailed my letter to the potential birthmom expressing my warm feelings, respect, and gratitude toward her.  My handwriting is that of an arthritic ninety year old, but whatchagonnado.  I did end up buying nice stationery from Books a Million and used that.  I took the Fishmaster and Rockinrolla there for a special Sunday treat.  The Fishmaster picked out Pet Semetary  (scary…) and Rockinrolla bought an origami paper airplane book.  He’s all into exotic paper airplanes now.  It’s kind of fun sweeping up and finding all this paper boy debris on the floor.


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. B
    Nov 18, 2008 @ 19:52:24

    I hear ya on those rooms. They have their time and place, but I took got tired of how people seemed to care too much for their own way of doing things, and their own pains, that they lost the appreciation for those around them hurting too.

    That letter you wrote is going to mean the world to your BM. It is sweet you did that. I still can’t believe it, your baby is coming so soon! Yah.

  2. thisbumpyjourney
    Nov 19, 2008 @ 00:20:24

    Totally, B. I loved them so much for a good while – it can be SO therapeutic to just talk to other people who are hurting as much as you are – but it’s not really helpful nowadays. I feel *mostly* good and happy and positive, and I guess it would be nice to talk to other bereaved parents who feel the same way, but I don’t *need* it, and I don’t know of such a chat room anyway.

    We are just in outer space, we are so excited. These (potential) birthparents are just incredible, and the birthmom has indicated that *she* is so excited that *we* are so happy with her. 🙂 Wowzer! Hard to believe we have a BABY coming in February!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

  3. cousin katie
    Nov 20, 2008 @ 17:02:27

    I am doing a little shopping for baby boy 🙂

  4. Debbie T. (I know Katie from APW)
    Nov 24, 2008 @ 20:06:06

    My sympathies on your loss, but my best wishes for your adoption. I’m also an adoptive parent after my first daughter died (from severe birth defects). I’ve found that adoption communities are actually a good place to be, since so many of us have had some similar losses and found a way to eventually pursue some joy for our lives afterwards.

    I too found many that didn’t get that, even tho’ we think of our precious angels every day, we still have a life to live and other children to live it for. We can’t stay buried in our grief forever and we all use whatever works for each of us as we approach our own individual lives. I’m glad that you found something that worked/works so well for you. Hugs! Debbie

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