chatty on a Tuesday

It’s a pretty great morning, really, although I am sad that friend C and her husband are hurting right now.

The boys in general have been especially fun and adorable of late.

I remember, when they were cute little toddlers, feeling sorry for parents of tweens and teens that their kids weren’t all cute and cuddly any more. But truly, truly, it’s not that way.

Rockinrolla and the Fishmaster are just a treat to be around, and, lately especially, they have been cracking me up. Like, to the point of tears rolling down my face. It’s different because it’s mature humor; laughing with them instead of at them, like you do with normal human adults. Except they have these fresh and unique and young perspectives.

I feel our relationships changing just a bit, in a good way. They’re just mostly rational semi-mature people that you can reason with and listen to, so it’s changing to less of a benevolent dictatorship and more of a happy coexistence with some shepherding on the part of Daddy J and me.

Anyway, they are wonderful.

One of the boys is a fan of meditation at bedtime; he does it maybe once or twice a week, or whenever he thinks it would help him sleep. He did “Light Meditation” by Sherri Menelli last night and gave it a big thumbs-up. The bedtime track is just 12 minutes long. He woke up early at 6:00 am, all bouncy and happy. He said that the CD asks you to set your own alarm clock, and he (thinking it wouldn’t work) set his mental clock at 6:00, and it worked like a charm.

So, it was on my mind freshly this morning how much of a lifeline meditation has been for me since Wardie’s accident. It’s been my release, my drug, my window to the divine.

Katie’s blog today hit on this some. In my experience, I never took any mood-altering drugs for depression after Ward left his body. It hurt more than anything I’ve ever, ever experienced, but I didn’t want it numbed. And I think that the desperation and intense grief is what opened the door for me to getting spiritual help and support. Like, I don’t think I’d have heard the gentle, reassuring voices of Ward and angels with cotton in my ears and blinders on.

BUT I am NOT saying that those drugs are always a bad idea. Obviously, if someone has a chemical, physical imbalance and cannot feel better, or if they are grieving so deeply that they’re in danger of hurting themselves, they need some medical help pronto.

I guess I’m just saying that I like the path we’ve been on, and I’m glad we’ve been able to find real happiness after Ward’s accident without meds. I like where we are. Sure, we have occasional trips to that Bad Place where Sadness is King, but they have gotten fewer and farther between. And, in the meantime, I’ve learned how to meditate and pray and get guidance on my own, as well as get joy and support from Daddy J and the boys.

*****

In other news: The Fishmaster’s school (have I mentioned lately how much I LOVE IT?) is doing a cool thing.

It’s located on a farm, and they incorporate a good bit of agriculture and farming knowledge into the curriculum. For instance, last year they learned how to judge and tell apart different cattle breeds, and were graded on how they assessed different cows.

This year, they’re getting all geared up for Meat Day. Yup. The Fishmaster had to research how much a long list of different cuts of meat cost per pound. (Had to use teh interweb for that one; there were all kinds of stuff, like tripe and tongue and brains… oh, my) They are learning about animal muscle and how it affects the texture of the meat you get from it, as well as learning the muscles on the human body. He had to have Daddy J and I give him our favorite meat recipes (mine was Crockpot Beef Stew, Daddy J’s was some kind of seared steaks.) On Meat Day, all this will culminate in a Meat Feast. The kids will bring in platters of different meats so that they can sample and compare them.

(And yes, even I, with my kooky animal products aversion, think this is CRAZY COOL.)

Rockinrolla has his application in at the school he’ll hopefully attend next year. His interview is tomorrow. I’m a little nervous about the whole thing, just because this school (and yes, Daddy J and I both went there) seems so complicated, what with the uniforms and the parents’ association and the myriad activities. (Um, yeah, and the tuition…) But I think Rockinrolla will totally thrive there. It’s a good thing.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Camille
    Jan 07, 2009 @ 15:54:12

    Thanks for the shout-out, Mama Jamz. We’re hanging in there and healing. xo

  2. KC
    Jan 27, 2009 @ 20:45:18

    Meat Day!? Don’t tell John, or he will surely crash it.

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