exhaling

Yesterday morning, F and J permanently terminated their parental rights in front of a judge.

Which officially closes the they-can-change-their-minds window.

AHHHHHHHHHH…

Rainbow will for sure be coming home with us, his family.

On the you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me side of things, I may well have to wait until next week to come home as this last paperwork gets cleared by the various offices.

(Funny Freudian slip: I first typed “wail” instead of “wait” in the sentence above. Ha ha.)

(I am beyond eager to go home with Rainbow and hang out with the Fishmaster and Rockinrolla. This waiting bites.)

However, I can endure it, because: see above.

Rainbow is doing magnificently. At the moment, he kind of has the nighttime thing down. (I know, I am totally jinxing myself by saying that.) But! He gets topped off with an ounce or so of formula at 10:00ish, and then just nurses and cuddles until about 5:00. I’ve topped him off with a half-ounce or so of formula, then he sleeps until about 8:00. He’s had this going for the last few days. Yes, you’re reading that right: zero nighttime fussing the last several days.

He did want to chat a bit at 5 am, which is just cute: a wide-eyed little baby wanting to hang out. No complaints with that.

The nursing is going fairly well. I had hoped that my milk would come in with a big sh-bang, and I’d get all engorged and full and lactabulous, but my supply is sort of meh. I’ve been topping him off with 3-4 ounces a day, using the supplemental nursing system. About every other time, I’ll nurse him on each side, sometimes twice, and he is just heartily annoyed at the meager amount going into his tummy and lets me know it, so I fill him up with the formula.

Which leads to the question of the day: How can I get my milk supply to increase?

I am totally nursing on demand, whenever he fusses. I’m still taking the blessed thistle and fenugreek (3 tabs 3x a day) and the domperidone (20mg 4x a day). I would love to quit with the domperidone, partly because I don’t like taking meds that mess with me and partly because it’s expensive as sin. But should I up the domperidone to try to really get the girls going?

(My OB is not an expert with induced lactation, but he was happy to help me follow the Ask Lenore guidelines b/c it’s what the La Leche League suggests, and Lenore says that they have gone up to 40 mg 4x a day with some clients.)

The supply as is is okay, I guess, but the SNS is kind of a pain to use. You have to pretty much bare your breast to get it to work out, so it’s not conducive to public breastfeeding, and you have to be sure to wash it soon after so that the formula doesn’t dry and clog the tubes.

Anyway: ALL SUGGESTIONS WELCOME.

Tonight, Daddy J and I are going out to dinner with F and J. And Rainbow. It seems like it would be incredibly difficult for them, F especially, but she told the social worker that she knows Rainbow will be there and that’s fine. I struggle with attributing how I imagine I’d feel in her place to her, and I need to stop it. She is a very strong, loving person who wants this meeting. And I’m hopeful that this will set a really good precedent for F and J and Daddy J and me: that it doesn’t have to be weird or awkward or best-avoided. We can meet if we want to and it will be okay.

~~~~~

How about some cute baby video action?

For your enjoyment, we have:

Mama Jamz trotting like a pony trying to calm Rainbow on an outing:

And Rainbow being squirmy and adorable:

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19 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Michelle
    Mar 12, 2009 @ 16:47:18

    Hi! Longtime lurker here. πŸ™‚ Forgive me if I’ve missed info on this, but as a birth doula my only other suggestions re: increasing milk supply are these: increase the dom if you can and are comfortable with that idea, eat oatmeal daily, pump *directly after nursing* for 15-20 mins, and sleep topless with baby nestled right next to you with free access to the breastaurant at all times. πŸ™‚ I’d also recommend starting off with taking baby to bed with you for a good 24 hours, where all you do is rest, nurse, nom on baby-head-smell and eat when food is brought to you. Best of luck!

  2. Trackback: mamapundit » Blog Archive » Help an adoptive mama: looking for tips to boost milk supply
  3. thisbumpyjourney
    Mar 12, 2009 @ 18:56:42

    Okay, so I’m glad to have your doula input on the domperidone, Michelle. I guess that’s what I’ll do, b/c I’d really like to get to the point where I don’t have to deal with the SNS. I’ve heard the oatmeal thing, too – interesting. I wonder what the deal is with oatmeal? I actually bought some fancy organic oatmeals with this in mind a few weeks ago, so when i get home I’ll put that in practice. Pump after nursing… check. We’ve been doing the all-night nurse-o-rama, so I’ll continue that. The 24 hour bedtime sounds awesome; maybe I can make that happen.

    Thank you so much for delurking and sharing!

  4. clara
    Mar 12, 2009 @ 20:17:09

    I am so happy for you guys! I’ve been checking for this very post.

    On supply: I’m a LLL Leader and I second everything that Michelle says. The 24 hr in bed thing helps a lot! Its like beginning again, just constantly offering the breast and doing as little as possible for a whole day and night. Skin to skin is super helpful, we talked about it before. πŸ™‚

    And one other idea on the pumping that has helped many moms in my group who struggled with supply: Power pumping. There’s 2 ways to do it. One way is to set the pump up in a central location, a place you walk past a lot, like next to the bathroom. Every time you pass by, stop & pump for 5 minutes. Let the milk build up (but don’t worry about the amount, this is not about how much milk, its about sending the signal to your body to make more milk) Milk can be at room temp for a full day, so at the end of the day you can store whwatever you get. So.. nurse like normal & then pump for 5 every time you walk past the pump. The next day or the day after you should full fuller and see more milk.

    The other way to power pump is to watch an hour long show or a 2 hr movie with commercials. Set up the pump, and every time its a commercial break, spend the whole break pumping. Basically, pump during every commercial break for 1 hr or 2 and its another way to accomplish the same thing…of sending the signal to make more milk.

    Good luck & I’ll send more if I think of it! Btw, so far I think it sounds like you are doing great & it shouldn’t be hard for your supply to only improve from here on.

  5. CA Mama
    Mar 12, 2009 @ 22:26:11

    Congratulations on the relinquishment papers’ signing! It is an amazing sigh of relief when you may not have realized have realized how hard you were holding it. (I have been reading your posts for the past few months, and heaved a great sigh on your behalf today.)

    Best of luck with ICPC. We also adopted from out of state. We spent a great deal of time with our child’s birth parents during our stay. Our daughter has jut celebrated her second birthday.

    You say, “I struggle with attributing how I imagine I’d feel in her place to her, and I need to stop it.” In my experience, you will in fact, need to embrace this new empathy for the rest of your life. It doesn’t detract from either your or Rainbow’s birthmom’s experience. When we (parents through adoption) acknowledge their grief, I hope it empowers women who make the choice to place seek counseling if they need it, and feel that they deserve support and respect for their decision. Long convoluted sentence, apologies. But I find birthdays bring the first couple weeks of our daughter’s life rushing back with perfect clarity.

    Enjoy the time you have in your bubble. Life will rush in quickly when you head home!

    Hurray for Rainbows and their mamas!!!!!

  6. sweetsalty kate
    Mar 12, 2009 @ 23:19:11

    Domperidone is a wonderful thing. It was fantastic for me, and every doctor I ever spoke to said it’s a safe, simple and proven drug that works in a really straightforward way. As long as your doctors have noted that it’s not uncommon to take at a higher dose, I’d go for it. Not like you’ll have to continue it for long – it’s a stimulant, and once you’re all milked-up, baby takes over. But you knew that already. πŸ™‚

    And those videos!! Oof. Rainbow is positively mind-bending. So happy for all of you!
    xo

  7. skye
    Mar 13, 2009 @ 00:35:44

    I love love love love how happy you look mamajamz, trotting like a pony!!!
    I so can’t wait to meet Rainbow!!!

  8. Erika
    Mar 13, 2009 @ 01:34:52

    Dropping by from Katie’s blog…here is a link from kellys mom…great BFing site!

    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/adoptivebf.html

  9. Erika
    Mar 13, 2009 @ 01:36:15

    PS..
    i want to agree with the other posts..all right on advice

  10. charmarie221
    Mar 13, 2009 @ 05:08:27

    I have nothing to add on the nursing front–looks like these “pros” have all the angles covered! So proud of you for sticking with it. And he just looks so strong and healthy.

    Love the video–and that continuous hand pat on the bottom is so me! Maybe all moms do it, I don’t know, but I noticed myself doing it to Riley’s doll that she handed me to “feed” the other day… pat pat pat as we walked back up the stairs.

    Thank you again for sharing this amazing, though notedly bumpy, journey with us. Hugs to all.

  11. Leslie
    Mar 13, 2009 @ 12:17:49

    For supply issues I took reglan, milk thistle, vitex, blessed thistle, fenugreek, a multivitamin and B complex, alfalfa, mother’s milk tea, and oatmeal. Reglan is a cheaper option than domperidone if you want to continue with something long term. As I recall, these things all seemed to help at least some. Good luck! I think you are really having great success from what I’ve read on adoptive bf.

  12. thisbumpyjourney
    Mar 13, 2009 @ 13:22:09

    Wow, thank you SO MUCH EVERYBODY for all the educated advice and links and support! I am so glad to have all of this input from you!

    I have so many leads and so much to look into that I’m feeling much more optimistic today about my milk coming in more. πŸ™‚

    Last night, he made it all night with no formula and had just about 1/2 ounce this morning to make him happy, so things may be getting a little better on their own, but I will for sure implement some of this great advice when we finally get home. (I sent my pump on ahead with Grandma L b/c I thought I was done with it, but the power pumping sounds like a great idea, and the additional supplements and foods sound good, too.)

    And thanks for the adoption insights, CA mama, and the kind support from Kate and Skye and all of you who took time to write. πŸ™‚

  13. thisbumpyjourney
    Mar 13, 2009 @ 15:04:59

    And the bum patting is indeed intinctual, char. Rainbow has the cutest little tee-niny bum. **sigh** πŸ™‚

  14. Erin
    Mar 14, 2009 @ 07:50:46

    What a beautiful Rainbow. I am so happy for you and your family.

  15. Cyndi
    Mar 16, 2009 @ 01:04:37

    Hey! πŸ™‚ I just watched all the videos…he is such a doll!!! I’m puting a package in the mail for you tomrrow. (((BIG HUGS!)))

  16. Cousin Betsy T.
    Mar 16, 2009 @ 03:52:14

    Soooo bummed I didn’t get to meet him this weekend. Had a really nice visit with Fishmaster and Rockinrolla this morning. I’m gonna leave a bag on the porch when I leave in the wee hours tomorrow morning. It has the sling and baby toys and a bag of soft tip spoons for later. I’ll help with the sling when I’m back in a couple of weeks. The videos are killing me. I can’t wait to snuggle him. He’s delicious looking.

  17. Cousin Betsy T.
    Mar 16, 2009 @ 15:16:30

    Oops,forgot to leave the bag. I’ll bring it in a couple weeks.

  18. Denette
    Mar 16, 2009 @ 20:15:35

    Be careful not to destroy your nipples with all that pumping! Oatmeal seems to help me and I agree that staying in bed for an extended period and offering the breast all day long, even if the baby isn’t fussing, is a good way to get the milk flowing.

  19. Trackback: adoptive breastfeeding « love, loss, and rainbows

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