treasure room

It’s not one voice but many that surround me, and they are laughing and so proud and downright boisterous and certainly cannot be ignored:

See?  SEE?!!  Didn’t we TELL you that you would be provided for?

(They laugh uproariously here, because I have been so much more than just provided for.  Priceless treasure is heaped at my feet every way I turn.)

Didn’t we tell you that it would all be good, and your needs would be met, and you would have things to be happy and excited about?

And I twirl like an over-the-hill Cinderella in my treasure room and weep with joy.  There’s this, and this, and most especially them, butwaitthere’salso this and this…

I love it all, every bit, and I laugh along with them: Yes, it’s more than I’d have hoped for, it’s magnificent, it’s beautiful, thank you, thank you, thank you. 

I will try hard to never doubt you again.

~~~

Daddy J and I have given so much thought to F and J, especially F, and hope that she will emerge from this transitional time a happy person.  She is so very open and kind and loving; it’s awful to think of her being sad, and I fear that she must be.  I have written her several letters and sent pictures, and will mail another today.  I want her to feel that there is not a thick steel door with deadbolts keeping her away from Rainbow.  I want her to know that this is a porous barrier, and that if she needs more contact at some point in the future we can work out how that should happen.

I especially want her to know how much we love this little boy and how hard we will try to give him a joy-filled life.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Cousin Betsy T.
    Mar 31, 2009 @ 14:45:05

    I’m sure she is sad but I am also sure that she is so happy that her/ your baby boy is so loved. He is such a gorgeous, peaceful baby. He’s very lucky.

  2. CA Mama
    Mar 31, 2009 @ 22:38:19

    If you want to talk further about open adoption, shoot me an email. There are some really good books out there, that would be useful for you and extended family (birth family, too), as well.

  3. thisbumpyjourney
    Apr 01, 2009 @ 14:47:30

    Thanks Betsy T and CA Mama. He is indeed so very sweet and peaceful, Betsy.

    We’ve talked about the nature of our post-adoption relationship a lot with F and J in the last several months, and they felt very sure that they would want some distance (especially F.) I’d describe our relationship as a loose semi-open adoption, meaning that it would be really, really easy for them to find us if they wanted to, and that we trust that they would respect our boundaries if they did. (And they trust that we will respect their boundaries, too.)

    I guess I am guilty of what I have done on and off, which is to imagine how F must be feeling and what she must want – more contact – which is not the case right now. Anyway, we are doing what we assured them we would, send pics and updates, and are letting them know that if they ever *do* change their minds and want more contact, we are very open to talking about that and determining how and when that should happen.

    Anyway, for right now F and J seem content with our not-fully-open adoption, so we are content with that, too.

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