the votes are in

and you ladies are pretty well anti the ol’ Botox. 

Thank you so much for responding!  I am still torn, frankly, although I’m not getting any in the immediate future.  I talked with a aesthetician RN the other day about it and I am not at all convinced it is Satan’s beauty treatment.  It seems, on the one hand, a lot less trouble than using fancy eye salves to get rid of wrinkles – it just prevents them from happening.  And wears off in 4-6 months, so if you hate it, it’s only temporary and you just never get it again.  The woman I talked to was older than me and had been doing it for a while (I guess) and I thought she looked great.

But! of course there’s the whole toxic-poison-in-your-face aspect, along with the weird looking smile thing that for sure shows up in some celebrity photos.

Anyway, thanks so much for voting!  Aren’t polls fun?  I was proud of myself for figuring out how to make one.  I predict there will be another in the not-too-distant future.

~~~~~

Rainbow is still just an adorable, chewy nugget of sweet perfection.  I had a great day yesterday, just giving myself permission to chill out with him and sing to him and make him smile and forget about house chores and thank you notes for a while.  He’s such a contented baby.

He goes for his 2 month appointment on Monday.  I can’t wait to see what our little tank weighs.  He’s pretty much fully in his 6-9 month clothes, although he can still wear some of his 3-6 month stuff.  And he’s a heavy (but cuddly!) load in the front pack.

I need to call our social worker, T, and see when she’s coming again.  I think it’s about time; I think she comes twice more before we finalize in June.  Last time I saw her, we talked some about F and I showed her pictures.  She got emotional thinking about what F is going through, too. 

(Note to self: start going to the adoption agency’s family events, like cookouts and stuff.  Do that!  I know you won’t know anyone, but Rainbow will appreciate it and it will be good for all of you.)

T had asked if the adoption had brought up any grief feelings, and I told her honestlythat it really hasn’t.  I’m just so happy and in love with him.  I miss Wardie, but I know he’s okay and he wants us to be happy.  I do, though, sometimes get very scared that something awful will happen to Rainbow.  If I give my mind free rein, it can think of horrors-upon-horros that all end in tragedy.

I have done better with the fears, though, the last couple of days.  I’ve been shutting up the fear monster with a couple of mantras: One Day at a Time and You’re brewing your own trouble, dumb ass. 

An endless stream of potential dangers (cars, stairs, poisons, chokies, strangers, bathtubs…) can seem overwhelming, but I can focus on keeping him safe one whole day at a time.  I can do that.  And I can tell my overly imaginative mind to SHUT THE HELL UP when it’s trying to scare me.  That works pretty well, too.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Meghan Cobble
    Apr 22, 2009 @ 20:22:33

    Julie,

    Cannot wait to snuggle your little puff-a-lump! Sounds like you are head over heels as well you should be.

    I think all mamas and their overly creative imaginations for potential hazards could use a good dose of your mantras.

    One whole day at a time: I like that.

    Enjoy, relish, and smell in that sweet baby smell!!!

    Meghan 🙂

  2. Erika
    Apr 23, 2009 @ 18:36:03

    i have found when i am catastrophing… to tell myself “not helpful” it does work.sometimes i say it 20 times.

    you forgot zombies

    erika

  3. Mary in Atl
    Apr 24, 2009 @ 02:50:41

    Giving birth not required for the terrible fears of what if…..my guy has three kids from past marriages & I fret over all the possibilites when they are in our care or out of our sight. Amazing to me sometimes that people even have babies ( not the reason I don’t have kids, it just never happened for me) – the myriad of saddness possible- but we do & the world is full of these precious, sweet babies ! Reminding us that life is wonderful, we never know what it brings but after the Rain come Rainbows- that was not where I was headed at the start but just HIT ME …. love that one

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