fully in this world

I’ve had a mixed bag when talking with mediums and spiritual-type people.  Sometimes there have been awe-inspiring, really helpful revelations, and sometimes there have been laughable, flat-out wrong, and even insulting bits of misinformation.

One bit that was helpful, though, was several months ago, well before Rainbow was born.  A woman told me that my meditation and spiritual seeking were going great, but that I needed to live more fully in this world.  Grow roots and get my hands dirty in my earthly garden, so to speak, instead of floating out in la-la land all the time.  

(The la-la floating is really pleasant, actually; it’s wonderful to meditate and get advice and feel recharged and centered.  Flipping back through my lifebook, I loved that part.  Maybe I’ll go through a similar chapter someday, when need be.)

But now I’m most certainly in this world, getting my hands dirty, and I love it.  I am leery of meditating while I’m home alone with Rainbow because I know I’d be listening for him to stir while sleeping and wouldn’t really be able to let go.  I keep meaning to work it in on a weekend while Daddy J is home, but it’s not happening so far.  But I’m not missing it so incredibly much.

For a while there, I was haunted by Terrifying Fears that Something Would Happen, and I knew that meditating would help me, but  didn’t get to do it.  Instead, though, I asked for help in the clearest language I could.  

(I read once that, when asking angels for help, it’s good to speak out loud for sound wave transmission reasons, and it made sense to me.  They’re on a different plane of existence, after all.   Snicker if you want to, but if you really want/need to believe in angels, you DO, and you take that leap.  I talk out loud for them, because I want to be sure they hear me.)

I just realized tonight that I’m doing much, much better.  The fears are still there, but they are muted and more rational now.

I’m feeling calmer, more capable, more up-for-this, and just rolling around like a lottery winner on a mattress decked in bills with my love for little Rainbow.  He is utterly lovable, perfectly sweet, adorably trusting.

It’s moving from the cool, still, healing waters to strolling on the mossy bank.  The waters are peaceful and healing, but you see and feel a lot more sunshine and grit out in the open.

The pool’s always there, though.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. cousinbetsytant
    May 11, 2009 @ 00:28:20

    I am in awe of your steady growth and awareness through this journey. Kiss chubby baby for me.

  2. thisbumpyjourney
    May 12, 2009 @ 15:05:54

    Thanks, Betsy. I hope we get to see you and your kiddos soon.

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