end game

This morning I will call T, our social worker, to schedule our last post placement visit. We may end up going to her office instead of her coming here, since a couple of her coworkers are on vacation and the office might need her there. Which is totally fine, of course, as long as it’s cool for our adoption legalities. All our stuff looks in order; we’ve gotten various notices from Rainbow’s birthmother’s agency that this and that have been approved and are looking good.

And then we finalize over the phone with legal types in Rainbow’s home state on June 16. I think we have to be in person with a notary and on a speaker phone, and I’m not sure how to work that out, but it’ll happen. And then we’ll be all done with the legal stuff, presumably forever.

So, whew.

Isn’t it crazy to think that we will have finalized our adoption with our now 14 week old baby less than a year after completing our homestudy?

exhalation.

It’s reminding me of a dream I had, back when we were trying to conceive, but after the first two miscarriages, I think. (I may have already shared this with you all, I can’t remember.) Adoption had crossed our minds, but we hadn’t given it serious consideration yet.

I walked into a classroom in a boarding school or orphanage type place. I saw Ward, and he was older. He looked at me with a quiet little smile, but stayed in his seat. Another boy jumped up and ran to me. He looked nothing like Ward or Rockinrolla or the Fishmaster (or Rainbow, for that matter) – he was thin, with jet black hair and sharp features. Hungry looking. He hugged me and said something like, You’re here, you came for me. It was one of those dream-contacts where you really feel the person, and I felt his love just pumping through me.

I thought, This isn’t Ward, not a baby of mine, but I can love him, and stood in my dream hugging this boy with this intense love passing from him to me to him. He asked, Will you share your wealth with me? and I understood it to mean much, much more than material things: Will I share all of the good parts of our lives with this boy? And thinking, Yes, yes, I want to, I will.

~~~~~

I haven’t had any visit dreams or intense message dreams lately. Maybe it’s the baby-induced broken sleep, or maybe my sporadic meditation is making that doorway close a bit. I am finding four-leaved clovers again, several a week, and tucking them into cookbooks and novels and random spots to be found sometime in the future ~ that’s nice. I love to open up a book and have a forgotten dried clover float out onto my lap.

I hold Ward close to me, like an ember, and wonder what he’s doing today. I’m sure he approves of Rainbow, and that he loves us, and I also feel like he’s doing important things where he is.

I wonder what he’s working on today.

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8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Debra
    Jun 01, 2009 @ 13:19:31

    Again, lovely writing. What a lovely dream; a dream that came true!

  2. sweetsalty kate
    Jun 01, 2009 @ 13:29:28

    I love it when you share your dreams. They make me remember magic, when I’ve forgotten it. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to you for that.
    xo

  3. Daddy J
    Jun 02, 2009 @ 12:41:36

    I love that dream, Baby.

    BTW, we’ll do the the finalization at my office.

  4. Mama Jamz
    Jun 02, 2009 @ 13:10:55

    Thanks, Debra, Kate, and Honey-pie.

  5. KatieC
    Jun 02, 2009 @ 14:22:41

    Beautiful – I have chills.

  6. CA Mama
    Jun 03, 2009 @ 03:51:57

    Hurray for heading towards finalization! I found myself having an amazing, overwhelming sigh of relief when we finished ours. And I didn’t even know I was holding my breath.

    We may be heading into our second adoption soon. Reading your posts has been wonderful. Thank you!

  7. Auntie Sue
    Jun 03, 2009 @ 17:27:46

    I thought of Ward this morning while I looked for a four-leaf clover for the first time in several years. I didn’t find one, but enjoyed thinking about Ward while I pawed through them.

  8. thisbumpyjourney
    Jun 07, 2009 @ 18:01:13

    Thanks, KatieC, CAMama, and Sue.

    How exciting, CA Mama, that you may be adopting again! Good luck, and please share what happens for your family and potential new member.

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