Here it is.

julie new haircut


This is what we have.

(Also: Isn’t it weird how one of my eyes is bigger than the other?  Is that how everybody’s eyes are?)

And what have we learned from this, you ask?  Because that’s what mistakes are, right? Learning opportunities.

1. My hair does not do short and layered.  Or short of any variety.  It is way too coarse and thick for that.  It doesn’t pan out.

2. I need an experienced hairstylist to deal with my head.  Someone to say, You know, this is a cute haircut that you’re looking at, but your hair won’t actually DO that.  Also, I DO in fact know what styling products you should use and won’t put glop on your head that will weigh it down in a thick, heavy helmet.

Because, really, the scene at the salon was kind of funny.  Ha ha.  But not really.  At all.

Her: SO!  What do you think?

Me: (Thinking, It’ll grow!  It’s just hair!  DO NOT get upset!) Well, it’s a lot shorter than I had wanted. (This picture gazed out at us where I had placed it on the counter for her to look at.)  And I had hoped it would be… messier and more piecey.  Less tailored and… helmet-like.

Her: (Not even arguing with”helmet-like”!)  Yeah.  It’ll look different with some product.  (Takes out whipped hair goo, says it’s a lighter product than the paste.  Emulsifies and applies.  My hair is cemented to my scalp and neck.)  Huh.  It’s not supposed to do that.  You shouldn’t use this product.

Me:  Well, this is not really what I had in mind.  I like the highlights.  The color is nice.  But I had wanted it to be longer and more tousled.

Her:  Well, I didn’t want it to be a mullet.  You wouldn’t want a mullet.  Actually, I don’t know why HER hair isn’t a mullet.  (Staring at Lisa Rinna’s mocking photo.)  Huh.  It will be different when you go home and style it how you want to.  Everyone is different, you know! (smiling brightly!)  We all like our own way to do our hair!

Whatever.  It was, in fact, HUGELY improved after I washed it.  She had dried it with a paddle brush and and used a flat iron (????) before adding the whipped goo, so it just hung stickily to my scalp, ends curled in, when I left the salon.

It was pretty funny at the restaurant with Daddy J for lunch.  I was fighting back tears when the waitress asked us if we’d like a bev, maybe some tea?  I said I needed a glass of sauvignon blanc because I’d had a bad haircut.  She hustled out with the wine and shared her own bad hairdo story (a $75 updo that she didn’t like, which garnered no sympathy from me: it washed right out) and brought over another waiter to commiserate with a bad haircut story from his mom (who was in the army and given a full-on razor cut, which WOULD have been a real bummer.)

The funniest reaction, though, was from a boy cousin who had, I’m guessing, been coached by Daddy J or some other family member.

He came in to the kitchen, stared at me for a few seconds, and said, in a flat monotone, Nice haircut.


14 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Meghan Cobble
    Jul 12, 2009 @ 03:17:31

    Now, now.

    I know you don’t want to hear this, but it’s cute {from what I can see from the picture, mind you}.

    I can see lots of opportunities for styling your bangs. Down and scattered across your forehead, like you have it whisked back, or perhaps even in a little puff with a tiny clip right atop your head.

    It amuses me that as I re-read what I just wrote it sounds like I am describing one preparing a breakfast of hashbrowns, eggs, and fruit crepes.

    I think you have a great neckline for the sexy flip out in the back and it also allows you to really maximize some jewelry pieces in and amongst your stash {earrings and chunky necklaces}

    I understand though when you feel dissastisfied that no amount of making-you-feel-better comments will help.

    I totally get that.

    But in any event…I hope these words help a little.

    Did she texturize your hair any? Kinda getting that you have thick, coarse hair…I would hope she texturized it to thin it out some so the cut can rest correctly on your scalp.

    I don’t even have near the thickness or coarseness of your hair and I have to have mine texturized so it will lay just right. She etches the scissors through sideways and long pieces of your hair come out…usually done on the underneath side from which your hair naturally lies.

    .mac 🙂

  2. Erika
    Jul 12, 2009 @ 03:39:30

    i think it looks cute! i really really do.
    and mac has good advice..

    really i like it.

  3. Cousin betsytant
    Jul 12, 2009 @ 04:57:25

    I like it.

  4. Daddy J
    Jul 12, 2009 @ 14:30:25

    I’ve told her a million times how much I like it! You can’t really see the hot highlights and streaking in the photo.

  5. Erin
    Jul 12, 2009 @ 17:02:37

    I think you look beautiful. And looks like you have lots of ways to play with your hair to make it fun and piecey.

  6. thisbumpyjourney
    Jul 12, 2009 @ 23:24:30

    Well, thank you everyone. I’m getting used to it, I guess.

    She did cut a lot out of it, Meghan (especially after I expressed unhappiness with it) and I’ve been experimenting with different products and techniques a little bit. It is kind of fun to use little bitty hair clips to pull back the center of my bangs, so I think I’ll get some little girly barrettes, too.

    “It amuses me that as I re-read what I just wrote it sounds like I am describing one preparing a breakfast of hashbrowns, eggs, and fruit crepes.”


    And yes, the earring possibilities are a lot of fun, too. (Well, when Rainbow, aka Mr. Grabby, is being babysat, that is.) I have a fun new pair of long beaded Native American-esque ones that would be fun to dangle.

    And yes, Erin, I’m trying to optimize the pieciness. It’s crucial, I think; otherwise it’s just very thick and glumpy. Some spray gel and hand scrunching while blow drying today worked pretty well.

    I guess it was just really horrifying that A. She cut it several inches shorter than I’d wanted and B. Even SHE couldn’t style it attractively in the salon.


    It’ll grow, it’ll grow, it’ll grow…

  7. Debra
    Jul 13, 2009 @ 12:43:47

    I love it! It looks beautiful. Seriously.

  8. Jackie
    Jul 13, 2009 @ 14:22:36

    Darlin’, you’d look good bald!! With that being said, I like it, it’s fresh & cute on you!! The secret is to play & learn how your hair goes & what goes in it without dragging it down. And you’re right, if you don’t like it, it will grow. I know with mine, it doesn’t take long either.

  9. Meghan Cobble
    Jul 13, 2009 @ 14:55:27

    Oh, 2 more thoughts.

    1. great opportunities for experimenting with new shades of lipsticks as shorter hair provides more facial feature focus. (Might I recommend Revlon’s Colorstay.)
    a. Lots of colors to choose from.
    b. comes with a glosser to apply on top
    c. this stuff stays…through all the million baby head-to-toe kisses you give in a day.
    d. No smudging either.
    e. You’re don’t have to pay an arm and a leg for it too!

    2. You could also opt for the “slicked” back {please excuse that word…I was at a loss for a better verb} look and edgy flip on the ends. The image I have in my head is from this flick:

    K. I think that’s got it. I just did a post a couple of days ago about my hair adventures myself.

    Good luck! Embrace the new Mama Jamz~~~Sounds like Daddy J does! 🙂

    .mac 🙂

  10. thisbumpyjourney
    Jul 13, 2009 @ 19:04:03

    Thanks for the support, Debra and Jackie. You all are sweet.

    Great advice again, Meghan. I like the American President ‘do. I was trying to figure out what to do when I wanted to look all fancy, and I think that’s worth a shot. I was going to play around with my wide barrel curling iron, too, and see what came of that; maybe sort of a wavy slicked-backness?

    Love the lipstick advice, too. Perhaps a darkish coral pink? Hm. I *do* enjoy self-gifting little treats at Walmart.

  11. Meghan Cobble
    Jul 14, 2009 @ 00:12:12

    Yeah, a smooth coral with a hint of cinnamon sounds divine. I have always had Revlon’s “So Cinnamon” as a “go-to” color in the summer/fallish times.

    You also have great eyes…big ole doe chocolatey brown yummies if you ask me. Perhaps a play up on eyes too, yes? MAC is my ultimate eye addiction for eye make-up products. They are a pricey treat, but a treat nonetheless…just be sure to get the eyecolor paint called “Untitled” to help maximize your color and keep the pop it has. Amber Lights or Goldmine would be suh-weet on your eyes. Perhaps a purplish tint liquid liner maybe too.

    Just a thought.

    Great thinking with that round barrel idea!

    Man, I feel like we are totally at a cyberspace slumber party in our jams waiting to see who falls asleep first so we can freeze their bra.

    .mac 🙂

  12. Mama Jamz
    Jul 15, 2009 @ 00:33:41

    Wow, thanks Meghan! “Big ole doe chocolatey brown yummies” – I love it! 🙂

    I had some good success today air drying en route to Nashville with curl maximizing leave-in conditioner + spray gel + hair clips to hold it up as it dryed. I’m hating it *less* daily…

    And I used smudgy brown eyeliner with some purple shadow on my lower lid, with big dangly earrings as I was Rainbow-less. (See? I’m using all your tips!) I love liquid eyeliner, too. I’ve always used brown-black, but dark plum would be fun to try.

    I’ll totally look into the Untitled MAC. Thanks so much. 🙂

  13. Auntie Sue
    Jul 21, 2009 @ 12:19:20

    Having seen it in person, I can attest that it’s cute and becoming.

  14. KatieC
    Jul 22, 2009 @ 14:44:19

    Honestly – I think it is cute. I especially think the back part (the little pieces that flip up) are cute and feminine. I also think that the bangs are cute and probably versatile – you could blow dry them forward and to the side for a swooped look. I know the feeling when you don’t like a haircut, but honestly, you still look very fetching with this ‘do.

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