first little soldier

So, I have a piece published on Babble, and I’m sort of nervous about the whole thing. It’s very personal, and it’s all just out there. So far there has been one friendly comment, which was nice, but will the trolls come out of the woodwork and smell fresh meat? Will people pull quotes out of context and use them to prove what a dumbass/callous bitch I am? Will people say cruel/judgey things about my life and choices? Will I be able to shrug it off?

(uhhhhhh)

That said, I am super, duper excited about it. I have sent off a bazillion (well, maybe eight) pieces to Babble, Adoptive Families, and Parenting, and am all hopeful to get something else published very soon. Also am working on the racy romance novel (up to about 17,000 words of 55-50,000) and that’s fun.

The writing is a big dream of mine, and it feels so great to take this first step of getting paid to write something and put it out there. My job-job (writing passages for and editing/revising English standardized tests) is something I really love, and it has the added bonus of getting my writing muscles all limbered up.

Daddy J fully supported me in converting our attic into my office, and it’s perfect place to work. It’s a beigey soft and coral pink, totally feminine and comfortable, with shaggy tan carpet. The perfect little nest to hatch dreams.

So, go check it out if you get a chance.

(holds fluttering stomach)

I hope you like it.

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Dawn
    Dec 17, 2010 @ 20:47:03

    I read your piece on Babble and wanted to comment more privately. It was a touching essay and I appreciate that you shared your experiences. I lost a brother to an accidental drowning when he was 17 months old and I was 10. Losing a brother isn’t the same as losing a child (it’s still bad, don’t get me wrong), but I identified with your story. Like your situation, my parents had a sterilization reversed (in my family’s case, it was my mother’s tubal ligation that had to be reversed). However, my mother was able to become pregnant and my youngest brother and sister were born a couple years apart.

    I particularly identified with your fears when your youngest son was a baby (I was completely freaked out about bathing my kids as infants) and with your knowledge that lightning can strike at any time.

    I thought your piece was excellent and I wish you all the best.

  2. Mama Jamz
    Dec 19, 2010 @ 02:25:01

    Hi Dawn. I read your message earlier but I haven’t had time to post a thoughtful response til now. I’m so sorry about your brother. Your experience is a lot like that of my big boys’, so it’s very close to home. They went to a therapist for awhile after Ward’s accident (she’s terrific) and she said they had dealt with it very well, but to not be surprised if, especially when they hit developmental milestones or emotional triggers, to have grief or anger flare up. I wonder how it will shape their lives, especially if/when they are parents.

    The fear is such a monster. It took me a long time to be able to know that my big boys were at a pool party (much less for *me* to be around a body of water) without having to deal with feelings of panic and terror. And bathing Rainbow was very scary at first. I’m so relieved now that he often prefers the shower. I get in with him and it’s good to know that, while I have to watch him, he can’t get his head under water in there.

  3. AprilC
    Dec 23, 2010 @ 17:26:06

    Read your story on Babble and came here to read your blog. What a beautiful and touching story. Thank you so much for sharing.

  4. Mama Jamz
    Dec 23, 2010 @ 19:54:49

    Hi April. Thanks so much for stopping by and saying hello. It was really a honor to get to share our story on Babble, and I’m overwhelmed with all the positive and supportive comments. I hope the holidays are wonderful for you and the people you love.

  5. Sunny
    Dec 24, 2010 @ 23:25:12

    I just read your touching story on Babble. I am so happy that adoption worked out for you and you have your beautiful family. God bless all of you. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year.

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