I totally had a scare with the spider bite thing a couple of days ago. It had gotten maybe 95% better, but then IT GOT WORSE AGAIN. The blisters all went away and there was a scab, and then that went away, so I was all relieved. But then more blisters showed up – itchy, big blisters in a wider area than the original spot. Daddy J went back on Spider Bite Observation Duty on Saturday. I’d whimper up to him that I wanted him to look because the bite was feeling hot and painful:

was it WORSE…?

At one point I sort of ha-haaaa-ed that I sure hoped it wasn’t Flesh Eating Bacteria, because that sure would be lousy. Like, if my rear end was being eaten away. HA HAAAA!! And then totally had to look up the symptoms of Flesh Eating Bacteria attacks. NO, I wasn’t dumb enough to google it this time, but I was dismayed that Wikipedia had a horrifying image right up there on the top of its entry. Don’t they know they need to be more sensitive to hypochondriacs???

Anyway, I’m pretty sure it’s not Flesh Eating Bacteria, because it’s pretty much better now. Damn spiders. (Or scorpions, huh, Suzanne? Wish I’d seen the little booger.)

I’m kind of chasing my tail lately, what with the ball planning and the novel writing and the article submissions and test passage writing. Kinda crazy-busy when I’m not doing my momming duties. I did take Rainbow to class at the children’s museum today, and we did have to leave and hang out in the foyer for the last half of class. Apparently it’s impossible for him to sit through class just knowing that the fun stuff in the museum is right outside the door. We had fun after, though, and friend B brought her little man there (he was another Kindermusik hopeful a couple of weeks ago) so that was good.

We’re trying time-outs (Mac inspired me) and Rainbow doesn’t really get it yet. At all. It just baffles him. He’s all, Twucks? Twucks, pweeze? Down? Down, PWEEZE? But we’re trying… I am thinking that once he learns what a time-out is, and I have something to threaten him with, I’ll make some real headway with discipline around here.

Another piece that I wrote just went live on Like Totally 80’s. It’s about my experience with aerobics at a health club when I was a teenager.

And Rainbow has a new favorite song:

(In other youtube news, apparently my video of Rockinrolla singing a Superbowl commercial (the Boost Mobile Shuffle) constituted copyright infringement and my youtube account has been frozen. AAAAAHHHHH!!! None of my videos will play! And I’ve deleted them from the Flip camera! I keep hoping that it’s some sort of temporary punishment and that my account will just start working again, but I guess I will have to contact youtube and apologize for besmirching the name of Boost Mobile and their commercial with my talented and funny teenager’s reenactment.)


Rainbow’s latest tricks

Daddy J created this video of Rainbow doing some kissy faces that we thin-lipped Jamzes can only dream of:

And here’s the disco version of the video I posted on Facebook earlier. This little boy loves him some Twinkle, Twinkle.

He just makes me smile.

He also came up with one of the cutest grandmother nicknames I’ve ever heard this morning. I told him he was going to go visit Grandma L, and he started shouting Grandpa R’s name with excited delight. I said that Yes, we are going to see R, but we’re also going to see Grandma. He considered this, and then exclaimed his other Grandma’s name. I said, Yes, I love Grandma J, too, but we’re going to see Granny L today.

His little wheels turned and he finally realized who I was talking about.

GOONIE! he squealed.

Goonie! Goonie! Goonie!

HOW CUTE is that name for pretty and sweet Grandma L? We’re totally running with it.

two wrongs

Yesterday was kind of a stir-crazy day for Rainbow and me. I thought staying inside on a cold, wet day would be cozy, but it was actually kind of claustrophobic. Rainbow got punchy by the end of the day, and I resolved to get out of the stinkin’ house today and do something.

Aha! I’ll take Rainbow to the playzone in the mall! He LOVES that!

AND, while I’m at it, I’ll swing by TJ Maxx and get some dress shoes and a backless bra for the ball! It’ll be GREAT!

And, yeah. No. It wasn’t.

TJ Maxx was reasonably successful. I did find some dress shoes that fit and I bought them. They’re pretty cute. A little more practical than I was hoping for, but the only sassy ones they had were platform stilettos, and I thought that was ill-advised for a dancing event. And I don’t have any cute black dressy pumps, so these will be nice to have.

TJ’s didn’t have any backless bras (!!) and I should have just called it a day, but decided to breeze into Dillard’s with Rainbow (who had been fairly content at TJ’s) and check there.

It went poorly.

I put him in the umbrella stroller and would have none of it. He just wouldn’t sit down or stop crying, and kept begging to get out. He was happy to get out, but wanted to run all over the store. Didn’t want to hold hands, and then had a total meltdown when I carried him. It was a bad scene. Like, almost funny, sort of. In a very dark way. Lots of me standing over him with hands on hips and just watching him writhe on the floor. Trying to reason with him – what is the problem here? do you understand you’re not making either of us feel good by screaming? – which was really dumb.

Since we were already there (dammit!!) I carried him under one arm and went to the lingerie department*. I’d put him down briefly and he’d sort of stay with me, then get a stinker-grin and make a break for it. A cycle of pick-up and carry, cry piteously, be released, then run off with a sniffly little smile. I had the lady show me her favorite backless bra and paid for it without trying it on.


Of course it doesn’t fit. Either the sizes have changed since the last time I bought a backless bra, in college, or I’m not the same size I was when I was twenty. Obviously, they are sizing backless bras differently now.

The lady did say I could return it, so good. Also, I noted on the way to the toddler playzone that there’s a Victoria’s Secret in the mall that I’d totally forgotten about.


Which surely will have the undergarment I need. Which I will definitely purchase without a quickly bored, tantrum prone, nap-resistant little man in tow.

* You would be surprised how hard it’s been to find a backless bra in my neck of the woods. This was literally the fourth store I’d tried (Walmart, Peebles, and TJ’s being the first three) and it’s hard for me to get out and shop, so I was determined to leave with my quarry.

The Spiderbite Chronicles


More Than You Ever Wanted To Know About My Rear End

(The main title is a totally lame allusion unless, like me, you had a child who was NUTS!! about the book series. The movie, not so much, but the books; dang, one of the big boys was all into the world of Spiderwick. )

(Full disclosure: I loved them too. O, yes. Love me some young adult fantasy lit, any day of the week.)


Back to the seat of the problem: a bad, nasty, evil spider of some variety bit me on my rear end. It was very scary, especially when I googled “brown recluse spider bite photos.” I don’t recommend it for anyone, especially if it’s close to mealtime. I just wanted to see if I’d been bitten by one, not what the worst case horror movie scenario was. I would put in a link, but can’t even bear to look at those images again. Trust me: Bad.

I was just happily plucking my eyebrows before I showered, late morning on Saturday. I didn’t feel anything while I was sitting down in front of my mirror, but as I walked into my shower I felt a sting. I reached back and there was an immediate patch of rough, raised skin that hurt. I was in a hurry and kind of ignored it, figuring it was a scratch or sting of some sort, but no big deal. Saturday was the Patrons’ Party for the ball, so I had a full afternoon making little mini cupcakes and then getting ready for the party. I was kind of aware of the bite, but too busy to think about it.

However, by the time we got home that night it was an issue. That mo-fo hurt. It had gotten raised and hard and blistered, with a big patch of red skin around it. By the next morning I was seriously worried; it was really hot to the touch and it was painful to sit down. A little interweb poking around seemed to indicate that there wasn’t much a doctor could do except prescribe antibiotics if it got infected, give a Tetanus shot if I needed one, and remove dead tissue if it developed. (uhhhhh…)

So Daddy J was the designated Bite Checker on Sunday. I tend to a bit of health paranoia, and after seeing those horrific pictures, I was all kinds of freaked out. SO GLAD that it never progressed to the Infection or Dead Tissue stages of the game. Today, it’s all better, at least compared to what it was. Barely sore, scabbed over, and mostly back to normal skin tone around it.

Damn spiders.

We found a spider fogger from a pack that we’d used in the shed some time back, but it’s major overkill for the spider threat zone in our bathroom, i.e. the access area under the jetted tub. We’ve seen them (and sprayed for them) there before when we had some work done a year or so ago, so I guess they like it there. Daddy J’s going to get some spray for the area.

It still seems weird that there are spiders there, because our bathroom gets thoroughly cleaned once a week and, you know, used a lot. My best theory is that a spider crawled from under the tub to my robe, hanging up on the wall next to it. I put on my robe when I was getting ready to shower and it got me. But, yeah, all crawlies under the tub are targeted for extermination. Way scarier than me, like, losing a bum cheek, is little Rainbow getting bitten and having a wound like in one of those nightmare google photos.

Damn spiders.


So, it’s been a busy and gratifying time around here.

Habitat Ball planning is well underway. I’ve been asking for auction donations from merchants and individuals. Actually, this becomes less arduous every year. I guess I worry less about a No, because a No is just fine, and worry more about whether we’ll get enough stuff to make a good amount of money for Habitat. It’s very rare that anyone gets visibly annoyed by being asked to donate, and even if they do… eh.

My friend D. and I went to Party City yesterday to purchase wall coverings and balloons for the decorations. Rainbow was with us and was a pretty good sport for most of the trip. He enjoys movement of the shopping cart, obviously, and not so much the sitting there while we discuss our options, and got vocally unhappy while we had to fill out forms for our tax exemption and organizational status. But we made our purchases and probably got all we need to get; friend N.G. does the table centerpieces.

Aaaannnnd, I checked in on my young lovers in my romance novel. They’re getting along nicely and enjoying each other’s company very much.

Aaaannnnd, I had another piece published on like totally 80’s, a very nostalgic article about popped collars. Fun! I’m having a great time thinking back about music and fashion and culture in the 80s and can’t wait for Rainbow’s nap so that I can do some more work.

It’s been incredibly satisfying to work, either on the standardized test passages, parenting article submissions (yes, I’m still submitting), 80s articles, and my romance novel. I take a huge cup of hot tea and a bowl of baby carrots with me, then write and crunch away.

Shiny Shiny!

Check out this piece I wrote for like totally 80’s about metallic fashions.

How fun is it to think back on the 80’s and write about it?

It’s. Totally. Bitchin’.


a class-free social system

As I listen to Rainbow “falling “asleep” for his nap (which entails kicking the walls of his crib, clapping, and calling out OOOOOH, GABBA GABBA! repeatedly) I think I’ll share a couple of pieces of video evidence that show Rainbow in his natural state.

We have here a boy who does not like to sit still often or for long periods of time.

Example #1

Playing The Run Game with Mama

Example #2

Rocking out to ABBA
(he starts in with the clapping at around 37 seconds)

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