The Spiderbite Chronicles

OR

More Than You Ever Wanted To Know About My Rear End

(The main title is a totally lame allusion unless, like me, you had a child who was NUTS!! about the book series. The movie, not so much, but the books; dang, one of the big boys was all into the world of Spiderwick. )

(Full disclosure: I loved them too. O, yes. Love me some young adult fantasy lit, any day of the week.)

But!

Back to the seat of the problem: a bad, nasty, evil spider of some variety bit me on my rear end. It was very scary, especially when I googled “brown recluse spider bite photos.” I don’t recommend it for anyone, especially if it’s close to mealtime. I just wanted to see if I’d been bitten by one, not what the worst case horror movie scenario was. I would put in a link, but can’t even bear to look at those images again. Trust me: Bad.

I was just happily plucking my eyebrows before I showered, late morning on Saturday. I didn’t feel anything while I was sitting down in front of my mirror, but as I walked into my shower I felt a sting. I reached back and there was an immediate patch of rough, raised skin that hurt. I was in a hurry and kind of ignored it, figuring it was a scratch or sting of some sort, but no big deal. Saturday was the Patrons’ Party for the ball, so I had a full afternoon making little mini cupcakes and then getting ready for the party. I was kind of aware of the bite, but too busy to think about it.

However, by the time we got home that night it was an issue. That mo-fo hurt. It had gotten raised and hard and blistered, with a big patch of red skin around it. By the next morning I was seriously worried; it was really hot to the touch and it was painful to sit down. A little interweb poking around seemed to indicate that there wasn’t much a doctor could do except prescribe antibiotics if it got infected, give a Tetanus shot if I needed one, and remove dead tissue if it developed. (uhhhhh…)

So Daddy J was the designated Bite Checker on Sunday. I tend to a bit of health paranoia, and after seeing those horrific pictures, I was all kinds of freaked out. SO GLAD that it never progressed to the Infection or Dead Tissue stages of the game. Today, it’s all better, at least compared to what it was. Barely sore, scabbed over, and mostly back to normal skin tone around it.

Damn spiders.

We found a spider fogger from a pack that we’d used in the shed some time back, but it’s major overkill for the spider threat zone in our bathroom, i.e. the access area under the jetted tub. We’ve seen them (and sprayed for them) there before when we had some work done a year or so ago, so I guess they like it there. Daddy J’s going to get some spray for the area.

It still seems weird that there are spiders there, because our bathroom gets thoroughly cleaned once a week and, you know, used a lot. My best theory is that a spider crawled from under the tub to my robe, hanging up on the wall next to it. I put on my robe when I was getting ready to shower and it got me. But, yeah, all crawlies under the tub are targeted for extermination. Way scarier than me, like, losing a bum cheek, is little Rainbow getting bitten and having a wound like in one of those nightmare google photos.

Damn spiders.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Suzanne
    Jan 30, 2011 @ 20:13:10

    It might have been a scorpion sting. They’re actually pretty common in Tennessee, and we used to see them in the bathroom all the time for some reason (in Murfreesboro). Also, they like to eat spiders, so if you have spiders you probably have scorpions, too.

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