submission

Rainbow’s New Thing is to wake up and call for us, then insist that we lay down with him until he is 100% asleep. It’s sort of sweet and snuggly, but also a bummer at 4:30 in the morning when you really just want to stay in your own bed.

He’s done it more of the last few days than not. It’s like he’s afraid to sleep alone. I feel for him: I acutely remember becoming aware of the unfairness of the whole thing as a little kid. It dawned on me that my parents got to sleep together every night, but I had to sleep all alone. I did sleep with my dog (a Shih Tzu) and if Rainbow were older and Scarlett were fully housebroken, I’d totally go with that. Doggies are super comforting to little kids at night, and no doubt the doggies love sleeping in a human bed. But at this point, I’m pretty sure Rainbow wouldn’t snuggle calmly with the wiener dog. Also, she’d pee on the floor. So that’s out.

This morning I lay down with him for a good half an hour, feeling very virtuous and patient and SURE he was fully asleep. The room was so calm and serene as I left him breathing deeply and slowly. Then when I started to push his door shut, he realized he’d been left. AND FREAKED OUT. Just weepily insisting I lay down with him. Growing more frantic. Grabbing my hand and BEGGING. I tried rocking him in lieu of laying down with him, wanting to stick to my guns when I told him that Mama was all done sleeping in his bed. But, no. Just, no. Full-on freak out, big wet tears, and a final result of two parents and two year old up at 5:00 am.

Again.

I think the take-home lesson here is what the pediatrician has said multiple times: Whatever gets the most people the most sleep most nights wins.

Yeah. I think I’ll just sleep with him from waking time on the next time this happens. Like, tonight. And worry about getting him used to sleeping on his own sometime in the future.

Because we’ve GOT to get more sleep than this.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Ramona
    Sep 07, 2011 @ 05:17:17

    This sounds like our house! Our four year old has been like this four years. Our two year old JUST started. It’s making us crazy (and tired). Glad to know we’re not the only ones!

  2. Mama Jamz
    Sep 07, 2011 @ 17:19:34

    It’s so awful. He’s just pitiful, and I totally understand him – it’s NICER to fall asleep with someone you love right next to you. I let my husband call the shots last night and we did some supervised crying it out (sigh…) but Rainbow’s getting to where he won’t fall asleep AT ALL without me there. After a half-hour bedtime routine, very calm and normal, with bath, story, songs, prayer, snuggling, music, he FLIPPED OUT when I tried to leave.

    Anyway, we took a firm stance last night, letting him cry at his door for several minutes, depositing him in bed with a hug, letting him cry, depositing him in bed, etc. It was no fun for any of us, but he did finally get in his bed and sleep, after twenty minutes or so. Man, I hope he learns to settle himself down.

    When my big boys were little (they are 18 months apart) they slept in the same room for several years, and that helped a lot. Can your guys sleep together, Ramona? I think it’s reassuring to have someone else there, if the someone else is up for it.

  3. Ramona
    Sep 07, 2011 @ 18:09:29

    Our two start out in the same room, and, every night, seem to end up in our bed. Our relinquishment to this routine is that if they wake up, cry, and come find us, they can climb on in if they are quiet. So I end up with a kid plastered to each side, but hopefully my husband can get some sleep, and I usually do, too. Last night my daughter woke up crying. I went in to settle her, and my son was already curled up with her, still fast asleep. She was so loud, and I really didn’t want to manage both, so I slid in between them. We ALL woke up cranky. I really have no solutions. I do applaud parents who are able to go the cry it out route and accomplish it in a night or two. Our kids just scream. And never fall asleep. Sigh.

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