all over the place

July 1, 2009 at 11:46 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: , , ,

But let’s have the best news first:

F’s social worker from Rainbow’s home state called and said that she had gotten a call from F, the first since the birth.  F is fine, and she said that she loves the pictures and updates, and that she’d like to communicate by email with us so that we can know what’s going on with her, and would that be okay with us.  (YES.)

Which is a HUGE and WONDERFUL relief.  I haven’t heard from her yet (uh, guess who’s been checking her email frequently) but expect to before too terribly long.

+++++

Rainbow had his four month checkup on Monday. 

(And Yes, Evil Receptionist was there, and I SHOWED HER: when she told me to take a seat I turned away WITHOUT SAYING THANK YOU.  OOOOH, BURN…  We actually got there 10 minutes early, and I considered waiting in the car until the clock said it was exactly the appointment time, but decided that was stupid since Rainbow might wake up and I didn’t need to have the car running for no real reason.  AND YES: we finally saw the doctor ONE HOUR after our appointment time.  I do like him – he takes a lot of time to ask and answer questions – but find that incredibly ironic after the last appointment debacle.)

Ahem.

Rainbow is magnificently robust and perfectly healthy, and even gave the doctor some big charmer smiles.  He weighs 20 pounds 11 oz (97th percentile) and is 26.5 incles long (93rd percentile) and has a head circumference of 44cm (97th percentile.)  He had THREE shots, which I hated to agree to, but after researching on the web I think it’s for the best.  I spoke with the doctor and nurse about the vaccines again, and whether we should delay or stagger them, and they said that they didn’t see any reason whatsoever: he had no bad reactions to the last set and is a super healthy guy.

+++++

Rainbow’s eating really well, too.  (Hey, I heard that snicker over there!  Sure he’s a little beefcake, but he’s a BEAUTIFUL beefcake, no?)

leo grinning in swing

And jolly.

leo smiling in swing

The other day I was eating some raw cherries and he seemed interested, so I dribbled some cherry juice into his mouth.  He luvvvved it, so I skinned and pitted some cherries and ground them up in the baby food mill.  That boy went INSAAYYYNE for the cherry puree.  I just got back from Kroger and fed him some pureed fresh apricot with similar result.  He’s loving the fresh stuff (avocado – YES!  banana – not so much) so I brought home a selection: peaches and plums in addition to the apricots, cherries, and avocado.  Daddy J’s dad is bringing me home a butternut or patty pan squash if he can find one at the store, so we’ll give that a shot, too.

It’s so fun to feed a babe who loves food.

+++++

I’m getting my hair cut at a new place on Friday.  I think it’s relatively fancy, but the real bonus is that it’s within walking distance of Daddy J’s new office.  I’m hoping there will be a lunch date involved.  I’m thinking I want it fairly short (which, for me, is maybe a little longer than chin length) and I’m going to let an actual professional person color my hair, at Daddy J’s suggestion.

Hmm, highlights…?

I have a deep affection for Bai Ling’s highlights in this Lost episode, possibly because it took me awhile to figure out what exactly was going on ~ are those… FEATHERS in her hair?  Is she wearing TURKEY FEATHERS in her hair?  Feathers are SO COOL!!

Wonder if they’d be hard to keep up, though.  Hm.  Probably.  And I bet they’d cost puhlenty, too.  Bear in mind that I rarely want to deal with getting my hair done; I think it’s been five months.  (And yet: something vaguely punky and cool would be fun.)

+++++

Ruby, the basset hound, has had droopy red yucky eye issues so badly lately that she was literally blinded: bumping into stuff and navigating around walls like a visually impaired person.  I had been trying Benadryl, with a little success, but not a whole heck of a lot. 

BUT, when I took her and Snuggles, the cat, in for annual shots, the vet suggested that I try Zyrtec, which has been GREAT.  She’s much, much improved.  Still droopy and slightly gooey, but she can see!  (Can I get a glory hallelujah??) 

Just a little public service FYI in case you, too, have a hound dog with droopy, gooey, irritated eyes.

+++++

And that’s about it.  Rainbow is currently resisting sleep up in his room.  It’s just 6:40, but he is drunk and silly tired.  When I hold him for any amount of time, he can’t keep his eyes open, but putting him down in his crib causes him to break out the party eyes and bewitching smile and wiggle excitedly.

***sigh***

He’s not really crying, just complaining, but I’ll  go do a paci re-insert and give him some rubs on his peachy noggin.

He’s such a little sugar.

2 Comments

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy

June 29, 2009 at 11:32 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags:

Rainbow curious and bright eyedRainbow thinking hardRainbow happy and alertRainbow laughing with delightRainbow big happy smile

4 Comments

Afternoon Activity

June 28, 2009 at 12:52 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: ,

So, I had this GREAT IDEA for a hot summer afternoon activity for the big boys. They were kind of whiny and bored and just wanted to watch videos, and it was close to 100 degrees on the thermometer, so outside play wasn’t that great an idea. I told them that they had to either perform something or instruct about how to do something, and I would film it and put it on youtube.

O the brilliance: They kind of griped and protested, BUT they did in fact put thought into the backgrounds for their shoots, as well as what they were going to say. It took several takes to make Rockinrolla pleased with his performance, and the Fishmaster, as you can see, really got into his time in the spotlight.

ADDED BONUS: after we filmed, the Fishmaster played guitar and Rockinrolla practiced drums for a good hour or so, which makes Mama much happier than having them zone out to reruns of the Simpsons.

FYI, Rockinrolla’s drumming is certainly skilled, but, unless you are way into watching people drum in Rock Band, you may want to fast forward to the last thirty seconds or so for his post-song patter. The Fishmaster’s guitar tuning video is short but sweet.

 

***edited to add:  The Fishmaster is not happy with his tuning instructions: Rockinrolla pointed out that they wouldn’t, um, be effective.  He asked me to delete the video, which I couldn’t actually bring myself to do, but I told him I would make it private so that only I could see it.  His patter is just so charming that I don’t want to erase it forever.  Anyhoo, that video is no longer available for general viewing.

Leave a Comment

maturations part II

June 26, 2009 at 5:30 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: ,

As of today, Rainbow has outgrown two beloved baby accessories.

Maturation The First:

He spent last night in his crib, in his room, as opposed to his cradle in our bedroom.

It was a tough night for Mama.

He had just gotten a wee bit too large for the crib, and kept poking his hands through the bars and needing untangling. He also turned from tummy to back a couple of days ago, and I became very concerned that he would turn energetically and flip the crib over. (Yes, he sleeps on his back, but that back-to-front turning is soon to come. He’s a big archer and bender.)

So, goodbye cradle. I bought a video monitor since his bedroom is up on the second floor. Daddy J, seeing my freaked-outedness last night, very sweetly offered to buy another crib for our bedroom so that Rainbow could sleep in there until I feel better about him being in his own room.

I think it’s okay, though. I didn’t sleep too much last night – kept watching my live Babyvision TV, complete with exciting Deep Sighs, Occasional Twitches, and Long Stretches of Sleeping Baby – but he pretty much wakes up once at the most at night nowadays, and sometimes sleeps straight through.

At naptime this morning, he was pretty fascinated with his bedroom jungle decor. It’s fairly bright in there, even with the shades down, because they are white fabric and the sun makes the windows glow white. He went down without crying though; just needed one pacifier re-insert.

Maturation the Second:

I’m pretty sure he’s outgrown his bouncy seat. He’s almost able to bounce his bum off the floor, and I don’t think it’s intended for that kind of action.

The Bumbo, fyi, went the way of the dinosaurs a few weeks ago. It was meant for… slimmer babes, I do believe. There was a thigh circumference issue.

4 Comments

treading carefully

June 25, 2009 at 10:03 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: , ,

I’m sending cards to F and J today. I don’t know how many I’ve sent in total: lots. I think I’m going to slowly stretch out the contact to about one card with pictures to each a month, with another note in between for F. It’s so hard to predict what would make them happiest. Maybe they want next to no contact, with just occasional reassurances, or maybe more. I’m not getting any feedback.

My strategy, therefore, is to err on the side of maybe-too-much contact, maybe-too-many pictures. They can always stow them in a box, or tell their SW to stop forwarding them and just collect them at her office for later, right?

I find myself fantasizing that F will call and want to come see us. That I can help her give Rainbow a bath, that we can stroll him together, that she can rock him in his room, and that we can agree to yearly visits from her and part with a hug. She could stay at one of the B and B’s in town so she could have personal space, and then come over after breakfast. She could be Auntie F, or even just My F, to Rainbow. It could be a special weekend once a year for them and for us.

I want to reassure her in person that we care about her, that we respect her, that we’ll teach Rainbow how giving and sweet and beautiful she is, that we won’t deny her contact with him.

I don’t know if that will ever happen, though, and maybe it would be problematic if it did. It could very well be excrutiating for her and confusing for Rainbow. Not a real concern, though; she made it pretty clear that she didn’t expect to want that kind of contact. I think she anticipated that it would be too painful for her.

I can’t really imagine how she must feel.

I’d post her picture so that you could see how pretty and fresh and sweet she is, but I don’t think that’s appropriate. I want her to keep her privacy. But trust me, she’s so lovely.

(Has my audience changed from you grown-up blog readers to Rainbow, fifteen years from now? Maybe so. Hi there, fifteen year old Rainbow. I love you, sweetheart.)

~~~~~

The big boys are still just so much fun. They are a couple of wokka-wokka comedians at the dinner table; Daddy J and I just shake our heads and remind them to eat the food in front of them. I wonder, with them, when will the awful teenagerness hit? Can we just skip that part? Because they (at ages 12 and 13) are just delightful and silly and intelligent and interesting.

Rainbow is totally adorable, still, in case you were wondering.

I kept myself up last night with some pointless fretting about SIDS and other horrors that might pounce. Gah. My mind has such a macabre slant to it sometimes; it veers me off and makes me see how awful it would be, how I would fall to the floor and vomit, then call 911 and scream.

Stupid mind.

Worried again that I was visualizing a future and making it more likely (stupid, stupid mind) I then spent some time picturing Rainbow as a funny, smart, outgoing toddler; an athletic and polite gradeschooler; a tall, muscular, all-around wonderful honor student in high school; a going-away-to-college magnificent young man.

That’s the dream I like to wrap my mind around.

5 Comments

Moon Pie Videos

June 24, 2009 at 11:23 am (Uncategorized)

Hopefully somebody recorded the entire event, but here are a few scenes from the big day. Daddy J had instructed me to plug in the camcorder so that battery would be charged (which I did) but he didn’t remind me (and I didn’t realize) that you have to flip a switch in order to get it to charge. Anyhoo, all he had was the Flip, which is GREAT, but didn’t have that much room on it and didn’t allow for wide angle shots from his front row seat.

For your viewing entertainment:

(The Fishmaster and Rockinrolla are in the first, third, fourth, and fifth videos, and that would be me in the last one, and that’s Daddy J’s voice you hear singing on several of the songs.)

1 Comments

theatrical weekend

June 22, 2009 at 1:20 pm (Uncategorized)

RC/Moonpie day was a huge success.  It was blazing hot, but loads of fun.  The Fishmaster got to ride in the parade and toss Moonpies from the Titans bus with the other young castmembers, and Rockinrolla walked and helped carry a banner.  I watched the parade from a friend’s house, and then Grandma MJ and John C. took Rainbow home to get him out of the heat.

 Titans bus

First (well, after the early morning race and ongoing craft booths) were the CLOGGERS:

cloggers

Then Daddy J got home from his days away in New York and surprised me backstage.

Sarah P and Daddy J
 
And then it was showtime.

opening number

reach in opening number

F and F's 

Look!! Even Daddy J’s dad was in the play!

Gold's gym

Gray YMCA

My big entrance. Can you guess who I am…? (No, those are NOT my actual bangs.)

Sarah with arms up

And me performing a dance to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” like a brazen woman. SO outside my box, and SO fun to do.

Single Ladies

Rainbow’s godmother (and the writer, choreographer, director, and star of the play) looking glorious as usual:

Carla looking glorious

Goos

A cameo by our state’s poet laureate as Susan Boyle. heh.

Susan Boyle

final bow
It was SO MUCH FUN.  In 2007 I had a cameo as Vanna White, but I didn’t have to do lines or learn a dance, so this time around was a much bigger deal.  The boys say they for sure want to do it again next year, and I for sure want to join in, too.

Kooky fun in the Buckle. Love it, love it, love it.

FYI, these pics were taken by our good friend and neighbor, TJ. See the entire set here if you are so inclined.

You tube videos are in the works…

2 Comments

Rainbow

June 17, 2009 at 11:37 am (Uncategorized)

Shot by Daddy J with his iphone, early this morning:

rainbow

 

Leave a Comment

irony at 4am

June 17, 2009 at 11:01 am (Uncategorized)
Tags:

I’m totally snickering at myself, and also dreading how exhausted I will be tomorrow.

(Oh wait, I mean today.)

Why is it that when Rainbow wakes every four hours or so for a bottle, or at least a paci-reinsert and a mobile restart, I think that surely he’ll be sleeping through the night soon and won’t that be great?!

And then when he does sleep all night long – seriously, from about 8:30 until 5:30 – I am a wreck. I woke up about 2:30 and didn’t sleep after that. I couldn’t stop going to his cradle to make sure he was breathing, that he was comfy, that he wasn’t in distress.

(OMG! Why has he been sleeping for the past two hours with his head over to the side like that??!)

(Perhaps because it’s the ideal way to sleep, dumbass – on baby’s back, with his head to the side. GO TO SLEEP.)

All of which would be fine (HELLO, afternoon nap!) except I have a mama doctor’s checkup this morning and we are out of important grocery items (like all bread products, including tortillas and crackers) and errands tend to mess up the whole nap thing.

~~~~~

The finalization, by the way, was short and easy and, most importantly, completed.

The judge asked us various questions to make sure that we understood what we were doing, the funniest of which was:

When he takes the car out in the middle of the night when he’s sixteen and bangs it up, you understand that he’s still your child, the same as if he had been born to you?

Yup.

3 Comments

gulp

June 15, 2009 at 11:32 pm (Uncategorized)

So, tomorrow we finalize Rainbow’s adoption.

I vascillate (can I just confess nerdily that that is one of my favorite words? vaseline + oscillate = AWESOME) between wanting to hoot with joy and give Rainbow a hug, and wanting to go throw up in the corner and wash the taste away with a tequila shot.

Good Lord Amighty, it’s been a wild almost-four-years since Ward’s accident. We got on the baby train a few months after that, and now, several surgeries, three miscarried babies, one IVF cycle, and innumerable tears later, we have this amazing, beautiful, funny baby.

I found a book I had bought, probably during the first post-Ward’s-transition pregnancy.

(Sigh. It’s something that the miscarried babies’ dates blend into the background of loss, dwarfed by the immensity of Ward’s accident and its repurcussions. I don’t really remember when they happened.

The babies have names, though. Special, sweet talisman names, not names you would christen a baby born alive and kicking: angel names.

And they are buried in our backyard garden.

I have heard the theory that pregnancies that end in miscarriage are the result of an angel who, for whatever reason, is not going to be born into the world at that particular time, but who wants to visit and be close to the pregnant woman, to commune with her and lend strength and hope. This makes me smile, because it sounds like the sort of logic *I* would have in angel form: It’ll be GREAT! Let’s soothe the grieving woman by letting an angel visit in her womb for just a few days/weeks/months! The other angels would glance sideways at each other and murmur that they’re not so sure that would actually HELP the grieving woman and hopeful parent feel BETTER, but Clueless MJ Angel is emphatic: She’ll Love It!!)

It was the sequel (or prequel) to one of my favorite nursery rhyme books that the big boys and Ward had, before the house burned.

I’m sure I thought that that pregnancy would be a breeze, since I had never experienced a miscarriage and had no reason to think I would.

I love reading it to Rainbow (and he likes it well enough now, although he’s still a fan of the black-and-white image books) and I plan to buy the partner book, probably right after I post this.

I bought it used, so there are two inscriptions. One is a Happy 1st Birthday wish to Rachael from March 23, 2000.

The other is:

May 31, 2006

Given with love to new baby Anderson. We can’t wait to meet you.

Love, Mama

~~~~~

We’ve met you, and you’re all that we dreamed of, and more.

2 Comments

« Previous entries Next Page » Next Page »